Robot Ninja Whores (And sometimes Pirates and Zombies, ZOMG!!!111shift1)

Dennis Kucinich, democratic presidential candidate, has great views on politics. As a politician, he’s an excellent speaker and quite intelligent. This doesn’t mean we’re voting for him, but we’re noticing one awesome thing about him: He’s a vegan nerd. Mr. Kucinich proves us that nice guys don’t finish last. They just have to find hot English brides while they run for president of the United States of America. To Mr. Dennis Kucinich, I say kudos! Good luck in 2008! Plus, your wife is hot and you must be one awesome ninja.

The Kucinich Campaign Site

You’re looking at an “Inter Office Reconnaissance Vehicle,” just part of the many zanny DIY robot recipes from the TeRK Telepresence Robot Kit website. This website is so awesome, you can learn how to build an office chair-bot that will herd other chairs and murder your boss. Okay, I lied about the last part, but it has motors to go to and fro and up and down!

Awesome Robots You Can Build On Your Own! [via Slashdot]

This week in our Periodical Google Search of Paris Hilton, we have discovered a news story about Paris’ hatred of panties. The story says Paris was trying on bikinis worth about $300 each when the store asked her to purchase them because she wasn’t wearing any panties. Paris responded by saying they didn’t fit and refused to buy them. I don’t even have a joke for this story.

Paris hates panties. Men rejoice, somewhat. 

For about $22 bucks, you can buy this “Transformers Sports Label Convoy feat. Nike Free 7.0.” Somewhere lost in translation is how you can’t really wear it and this is the most useless, awesome Transformer ever. His name is “Convoy” by the way. The toy-maker, Tomy Company and Nike, have joined forces. Tomy Company is expected to join forces with Trojan Condoms, Product (RED), Apple, and the RIAA to bring more variable-themed Transformers later this year such as the glow-in-the-dark Slip Stream (a Transformer with a rubber casing), Redformer Transformer That’s Red, Transformers MacBook Laptop Super Happy Fun Time Apple OSX, and finally the Give-It-To-Music-Lover-All-Your-Base-Are-Up-The-Ass feat. Autobot Awesome Transfomer (it resembles Soundwave).

I don’t have an explaination for this one

The “Transformers Music Label Frenzy & Rumble playing earphone” sounds like an awesome contraption which ever way you spin it. It looks even better than it sounds. On sale in Japan July 19th, 2007 with a price tag of ¥3,950 This is the first of our awesome Transformer posts today.

More than meets the ear…

I can’t post this video. I can’t even post a photo. All I can post is this diagram I drew in Photoshop. There’s no equality because I’m not sure if it equals fun, awesome, or gross. You be the judge.
It involves a robosapien, a dildo, and a whore.

Link

The crazy UK folk are at it again, specifically in Liverpool. It seems there’s a pigeon problem costing the city of Liverpool a ton of money and human resources cleaning up after the pesky birds. The RoBOPs, or Robotic Birds of Prey, will be deployed to scare off the pigeons.

This is probably the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of. They could probably just as easily use a real doll to scare off pigeons. I think the city of Liverpool needs a new Monorail while their at it.

Robo Falcons? Yes please!

There’s a new hands free cell phone kit on the market. It’s amazingly expensive, yet incredibly simple. Only the ghettoest of the ghetto would dare such a fashion statement. Plus it’ll give you some game when you pick up the chicks.

[via Gizmodo]

Wyeth, maker of Lybrel, a new contraceptive, wants to stop periods. No more cramps. No more pain and headache. And from a man’s perspective, no more excuses for bitchy women. There are already “seasonal period pills” on the market, but they haven’t been a best seller. The new pills will have to be taken 365 days a year and are extremely similar to current birth control pills.

No more excuses, but she can still say she’s washing her hair

Two, no four, no six–baker’s dozen!