Robot Ninja Whores (And sometimes Pirates and Zombies, ZOMG!!!111shift1)

The Swedes have an 18k gold plated “massager” that makes me want to let potential buyers know I put out for a good cheeseburger.

The description reads:

The most luxurious vibrators and massagers in the world, arriving on a satin pillow in an exclusive wooden box, ready for truly special users. All are crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate, materials that offer exciting prospects for those inclined to the sensual use of temperature.

I want all women to know that I can too come on a satin pillow and in a wooden box (if you’re into that sorta thing).

Death by Snoo Snoo

Get your very own Presidential or Vice Presidential candidate Cabbage Patch doll on Ebay!  These are much pricier than the 80s originals; Sarah Palin is the most expensive at $716.  McCain and Obama cost a modest $510, and Biden goes for a measly $425.  Foxnews.com said it best: “While children aren’t allowed to vote, a few lucky little ones can still pick — and hug and kiss and squeeze — their president.” Only 4d 19h 27m left to bid, so hurry!

This is NOT Sarah Palin, the Maverick, but we can all get our wankers off to a look-a-like, can’t we? It’s a blow-up doll. That’s right. Maverick blow-up. Mavericks every where can rejoice. Maverick.

Sex, Palin Style

9th Grade Whore on Maury - Watch more free videos

I’m not going to lie. This video is ridiculous. This 9th grader is a whore. Seriously, you guys.

I do what I want!

9th Grade Whore on Maury

What happened to originality? The Honda Insight was a tiny car which was discontinued in 2006. Looks like Honda’s bringing it back with hybrid technology in the Prius body style. This is worse than the time Optimus Prime was killed, and the Matrix of Leadership was taken by that bastard Hot Rod, aka Rodimus Prime. What a fucking loser.

The pluses are LED lights and Honda coming to the market with a hybrid car that isn’t a crappy CR-V, or muy feo Civic. If that doesn’t make you happy, maybe this will:

Honda’s lack of originality.

Sometime in the future, we’ll be marrying robots. If San Francisco is the mother land for homosexuals, Massachusetts will be the capital of robot-human nuptials. Perhaps the Wizard of Oz came 120 years too soon. The Emerald City already tells us tails of love in all forms, lions and scarecrows, witches and pedophilia, dirty old wizards and young, shiny tin man. Maybe I read that story wrong, but my point is that Mass will be Emerald Mass by 2050. I mean, after all, the Kennedy’s are from Mass.

But then again, someone might have been watching too much Cherry 2000.

OMG ROBOT LOVE

Attention Class!

I’m gonna dance on my desk so you young men to buy this burger.

Will you eat it?

Or jack off to it?

For you young ladies we have nothing for you fast food makes you fat. Or gives you a flat arse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNlakElmwFs

This is just a link… to a NSFW kinda video
http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=7467&Top20=1&rtn=index-top20

This week in our Periodical Google Search of Paris Hilton, we have discovered a news story about Paris’ hatred of panties. The story says Paris was trying on bikinis worth about $300 each when the store asked her to purchase them because she wasn’t wearing any panties. Paris responded by saying they didn’t fit and refused to buy them. I don’t even have a joke for this story.

Paris hates panties. Men rejoice, somewhat. 

I can’t post this video. I can’t even post a photo. All I can post is this diagram I drew in Photoshop. There’s no equality because I’m not sure if it equals fun, awesome, or gross. You be the judge.
It involves a robosapien, a dildo, and a whore.

Link