Robot Ninja Whores (And sometimes Pirates and Zombies, ZOMG!!!111shift1)

The Swedes have an 18k gold plated “massager” that makes me want to let potential buyers know I put out for a good cheeseburger.

The description reads:

The most luxurious vibrators and massagers in the world, arriving on a satin pillow in an exclusive wooden box, ready for truly special users. All are crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate, materials that offer exciting prospects for those inclined to the sensual use of temperature.

I want all women to know that I can too come on a satin pillow and in a wooden box (if you’re into that sorta thing).

Death by Snoo Snoo

This is NOT Sarah Palin, the Maverick, but we can all get our wankers off to a look-a-like, can’t we? It’s a blow-up doll. That’s right. Maverick blow-up. Mavericks every where can rejoice. Maverick.

Sex, Palin Style